Happy Valentine’s Day! Recently, I was on OMNI Television being interviewed by journalist, Kat Conniott, about life coaching and dating for Valentine’s Day. Because it was only 10 minutes, there were questions that weren’t covered that I didn’t get to share, so with Kat’s permission I get to share all the questions and my full responses here.
Kat: What motivates you to work as a life coach?
Gorett: My main motivation to work as a life coach is seeing the difference it makes in the people I work with. I’ve seen a lot of big transformations over the 8 years I’ve been a coach. Also, I understand the power of self-development and improvement. I’ve been through challenging times myself and having a growth mindset helped me get through them and get to where I am today.
Kat: What challenges have you faced while coaching others?
Gorett: Not too many as I have a Get Acquainted Call before signing anybody on to assess if we’re compatible to work together and if I can genuinely help them. This said, change is difficult for most people and it’s hard to see some people struggle with it.
Kat: What is your definition of success?
Gorett: Great question. My definition of success is having great, loving relationships, rich experiences, doing what I love and seeing the impact of doing what I love. Having freedom and flexibility and being healthy are also a part of my definition.
Kat: What advice would you give to someone who is struggling with making significant changes in their life?
Gorett: I would suggest starting small so it’s not so overwhelming. Trust that you’ll figure it out no matter what even if that means getting support and focus on progress not perfection. Giving yourself permission to take imperfect action is better than taking no action.
Kat: Valentine’s Day is around the corner… Dating nowadays is very different from what it used to be a few years ago. What are the challenges now?
Gorett: Yes, from my understanding, the pandemic and lockdowns increased the amount of virtual dating and in some cases, it stuck despite eased or no more restrictions. It also increased the amount of online dating (it was popular before but more so apparently) and the challenges that go with that like ghosting, paradox of choice, and privacy and safety concerns.
The pandemic also increased remote work which blurred the lines of work and personal life so despite perhaps having more flexibility, people tended to work longer hours which affects having time to date.
Kat: Are dating apps good or not?
Gorett: I believe it’s a tool that can be good or bad. If you’re looking for a relationship, it’s best to do the research and look for ones that cater to that as opposed to hook ups. Due to increased social and environmental awareness, there are dating apps that represent different values and beliefs so one might find better luck in a like minded community.
I would treat a dating app like a tool, however, and not let it consume you. You can set parameters around it or take a break and get off it. I believe it’s best to diversify dating like you diversify investments, not relying on one tool or option. Meaning go out and see if you meet people doing things you love, ask friends if they know someone who’d be a good fit or try a matchmaker. There are different ways to meet someone other than online.
Kat: What about commitment? Why don’t people want to have a serious relationship nowadays?
Gorett: I think with the increase of online dating over the years it has led to the paradox of choice. The paradox of choice is the idea that even though you think more choice will be easier and you will be more satisfied, having more options requires more effort to decide and generally leaves us unsatisfied with our choice. This along with “the grass is greener over there” mentality and our consumer culture, in general, I believe affects commitment long term.
Kat: How can someone overcome the challenges of dating without letting them affect their health or career?
Gorett: First, pace, not race. Pace yourself and set parameters on how much you date, how much you’re on an app, etc.
Second, I’d advise to develop dating criteria. Think about the top values and characteristics you’re looking for in a partner and make some of those non-negotiable if they’re really important to you. For instance, empathy, accountability, and honesty. You can filter potential partners out online or off which can save you a lot of time if you’re clear about the type of person you want to date.
Third, do things you love whether a sport or a hobby. This way you are taking care of your health and mental well-being and might meet someone who has your sport or hobby in common. Besides, doing your own thing and enjoying it is attractive to most people.
Lastly, don’t let ghosting or no shows let you down. They saved you further heartache down the road.
Kat: What is the key to make meaningful connections in our life?
Gorett: I’d say the key to making meaningful connections in our life is authenticity. When you’re not pretending to be someone you’re not, you can find out who likes you for you and not an idea of you. You can also be honest with yourself if someone is compatible for you, partner or not. Being vulnerable is a part of making meaningful connections, but I believe it’s difficult to be vulnerable if you’re not being authentic first.
Kat: To love others, we need to love ourselves first…how do we achieve this?
Gorett: Another great question as I wholeheartedly agree. I believe talking the time to develop a relationship with yourself if you haven’t and heal. There are many ways to go about both, however, I think the key is to prioritize yourself and your healing, otherwise you might unwittingly repeat patterns.
Kat: When do you know that your work as a life coach is done with a client?
Gorett: I feel our work is complete once they achieved the goals they created at the start of working together, or they’ve made significant inroads to the goals they have created. This is also determined by what coaching package a client chooses (my 3, 6 or 12-month coaching package).
Kat: How can people contact you if they’re interested in working with you?
Gorett: They can go to my website gorettreis.com or contact me on Facebook, LinkedIn, or Instagram.
That was it. If you are currently looking for a serious relationship, consider some of the suggestions I made above to make a meaningful connection today or any another day. Happy Valentine’s Day once again.
Best,
