5 Accessible Ways to Speak Up at Work

Speaking up at work is terrifying for a lot of people, but it doesn’t have to be. There are ways to get your point across, and your needs met.

Years ago, I worked with a client who enjoyed a lot of aspects about her job, but some things were missing. She wanted to find another job and feel more fulfilled. I was more than happy to help her, however, at one point, I did suggest speaking to her boss about some of the things that weighed on her.

I suggested that if she doesn’t develop this advocating skill at her current position, she might be in a similar situation in the future where she feels dissatisfied and powerless. She didn’t like the prospect of that, so she spoke to her boss and things got better. She still found something else, but at least she became more confident to voice her opinion and see positive change from it.

A lesson I learned from life so far, and from the book, If Life is A Game, These are the Rules by Chérie Carter-Scott, is, “a lesson will keep repeating itself until learned.” This is what I was sharing with my client when she mustered up the courage to speak to her boss.

I’m a big believer that we can always speak our truth but it’s how we package and deliver it. No matter the situation, although I’m sure there are exceptions, we can find ways to share what’s on our mind.

Recently, a client and I were talking about her taking on more of a leadership role at work. She felt she was overlooked for such positions. I asked her if her work knew about her desire to lead. She said they did not. I then asked her how would they know if she never expressed it? She got my point. I then asked her if she could have a conversation about it and she said she could.

As much as we’d like people to be mind readers, they’re not. If we don’t communicate how we feel, or what we need, we might never get it or feel more satisfied.

Checking our assumptions is crucial with all this. Does my boss know what I want? Will I lose my job, or be seen differently, if I express my wishes? Will I get a poor reference if I speak up? Does my work want a voiceless or disengaged employee?

Power dynamics are real so “easier said than done” in some cases, however, if you do speak up and it’s not received well then that gives you information about the leadership at your company, or organization, and whether it’s a good fit for you. Just like in relationships, it’s good to feel valued and heard and there are other possibilities if you’re not.

I also know moving on is “easier said than done” but what’s the alternative if you’re in a bad or toxic situation? What are the physical and psychological costs of staying?

Whether your workplace is bad or not, not speaking up can have troubling consequences. I’ve seen this over the years with different clients until they made changes. Take one client of mine, she feels her boss has unrealistic expectations of her and the pressure is affecting her at work and at home.

Thankfully, she realized she could speak to her boss, but it would require some vulnerability which she’s not used to. Sometimes it’s not about the other person, or dynamic, but our own stuff that prevents us from using our voice.

This said, if you want to speak up but are having difficulty doing so, you can try advocating in small ways at work and at home to build your confidence. For example, “I prefer using the whiteboard to jot my thoughts.” Try to aim for the middle ground of asserting yourself more (assertiveness) versus being passive or aggressive, or passive aggressive.  

Also, try to build or nurture relationships at work so it’s easier to speak up as there is some rapport to start.

Using “I feel” statements help too as who can argue with your feelings? People can try but they’re your feelings at the end of the day. Using these types of statements are less confrontational than finger pointing too.

If being direct is too big of a jump for you, ask questions that lead into a conversation where you can open up and share your thoughts. You can also use humour, but I don’t suggest doing it in a passive aggressive way.

Again, there’s a way to get your voice heard and not get penalized for it. It’s how you approach it that counts.

If you feel you require more help with asserting, or advocating, for yourself, you can schedule a Get Acquainted and Strategy Session to explore possible next steps.

Best,