5 Pitfalls to Figuring Out Your Path or Purpose & What You Can Do About it

Getting clear about your path or purpose is important, but what if it doesn’t come to you easily? What if you dig but you can’t find it? What then?

Over the past ten years, I’ve helped many clients get clear and find fulfillment and alignment with what they want to do. It’s why a lot of clients decide to work with me. In the quest for clarity, I’ve noticed some pitfalls along the way that can keep people stuck if they’re not aware of them and don’t move past them. Here are some of them in no particular order:

Stuck in perfectionism. Some people don’t act, or take steps in a direction, because it’s not the perfect idea or time. It’s easier to keep doing what they’re doing until they find the perfect solution. The problem with ‘perfect’ is that it may never come. Unrelenting standards and all or nothing thinking can keep you stuck and wondering, “What if?” The perfect idea, or time, can keep you from taking necessary action on what’s ideal or good enough which is more effective and productive than chasing perfection.

Putting pressure on yourself. I’ve discussed this at length in other blog posts (here's one) on this topic, so I won’t elaborate too much here. Essentially, putting pressure on yourself to know your one calling or career can have the opposite effect. Some pressure can be good, but too much is debilitating. How can you get clear if you’re wound up?

Instant gratification. In our instant gratification culture, we expect things now. We want to jump to results without the process. Unfortunately, a lot of things don’t work that way. The journey is just as important as the destination. It may take time for you to figure out what you want and how your best and most natural way of achieving it is.

Assumptions about one path and purpose. Often, we don’t examine our assumptions about “path” and “purpose.” Who’s to say we only have one path or purpose? We’re complex beings who are ever-evolving, that’s why it’s common to hear about multiple careers and changing values. Often, maturity and experience deepen self-understanding and informs what we want to do next.

Needing to always be in control. Having self-efficacy, or an internal locus of control, is important to feel you can accomplish something. However, always needing to be in control can backfire if things don’t go the way you planned or envisioned. Some things are not in your control. You can do your best with a sense of direction, but sometimes life has other plans.

If any of this resonated with you, here are some things you can do about it:

• Test different ideas, or paths, so you can get more information and use that information to narrow your choices or interests e.g., shadow a person in a career you’re curious about, or start that business idea and see what works and what doesn’t.

• If you don’t know exactly what you want to do next, ask yourself, “What’s the next ‘feels right’ move?” You don’t need to know everything before taking action. Remember, imperfect action is better than no action.

• Start small. Typically, it feels overwhelming when you feel you must tackle all. Instead ask yourself, “What’s one thing I can tackle that doesn’t feel overwhelming to start?” Momentum generally ensues when you start small.

• Take the pressure off yourself to have all the answers. Trust that things will come in due time when you live your life based on your values and interests.

• Pay attention and stay curious. If you lead with curiosity and pay attention to what that brings, you’re more likely to make meaningful connections about yourself and your life’s work(s).

• Ask yourself what you want to feel from what you want to pursue. Asking yourself this can help uncover the true motivations behind a particular path or purpose. Ultimately, we want to feel a certain way and that’s why we choose what we choose. Or we decide differently if it doesn’t align.

• See a coach or talk with a mentor. Sometimes it’s helpful to get guidance from another if you’re struggling with figuring it out on your own.

• Try to be flexible and adaptable with what life brings. Accept you’re not in control of everything and that expectations don’t always match up with reality. You can ask yourself, “What can I do instead?” You can still stay true to you even as you adapt.

• Remember things typically don’t happen in an instant. Plant the seed, tend to it, and it’ll bloom eventually.

I hope you find some of these tips and suggestions helpful. I hope it helps you enjoy the transportation to your destination, if there is such a thing as a set destination. If you keep living, and acting, based on your ever-evolving values, needs and interests, your path and purpose will become more and more clear.

Best,