A new year is around the corner, and with it comes a new opportunity to own it. What do I mean by own it? I mean to step into the power of it, it's a new year full of possibilities, and by taking responsibility for making the most of it.
I know there were a lot of jokes and memes about how challenging 2020 was due to the pandemic and other events, and, of course, there are circumstances beyond our control and difficult realities. However, we decide how we respond to any given situation because that’s the only thing we do have control over. If Viktor Frankl, a Holocaust survivor and author of Man's Search for Meaning, could transform his experience from being in a concentration camp to helping him and many others find meaning, we too can transform our experiences or see them differently.
There's a lot of power in owning something. Whether it's the year ahead, the choices you make, or ultimately your life. Claiming it, and taking accountability for it, energizes it. It's easy to blame others and deflect by making excuses, such as, "I couldn't do [this], because I didn't have [that]." However, it’s when you can say, "I did [this] without having [that]," things will start to change for the better.
For example, one of my clients said she would like a partner to do certain things with and either said or inferred waiting to do those things with her future partner. Too often I hear, "I will wait to do [this] until I have [that].” I reminded her that not only could she do those things now, for herself, but she will most likely attract a partner that is doing those things for themself and is attracted to someone who is filling their own cup. They could also possibly meet doing the very same things and would have a basis of similar interests.
When I was younger, I bought into the lie that others would/could make me happy as well; an external thing to acquire. Perhaps I got the idea from watching all those unrealistic, romantic movies where partners complete each other. I painfully learned this was not the case and it was only when I started to provide myself the love and happiness I sought from others, I experienced great shifts in my life. I decided to take responsibility for my happiness and own it.
Owning your year, your happiness, your power, can be about making choices to leave behind dissatisfying or unhealthy situations (e.g. your position at work or an unhappy relationship). It can be about having enough savings to feel you can make some of those choices. It can be about speaking your truth, in big or small ways. There are many possibilities.
Oprah is the queen of owning it. I don't just mean her business empire, although that is a part of it. She was born into bleak circumstances, growing up in poverty and the effects of segregation, but instinctively she knew from a young age the power of owning her life. She made consistent choices to make her desire of ownership a reality. One of the things she knows to be true is, "Only by owning who and what you are can you step into the fullness of life." I agree, there is no power in playing small for others to like you or waiting around for some external event to bring you happiness. Power comes in owning yourself now, whoever and however you are, and making decisions to live more freely and fully.
This is my new year wish for you.
Best,
Ps. If you would like to live more freely and fully in the new year, contact me for a complimentary Get Acquainted Call to see if I can help.